PAUL MARSH HAS A NEW JOB!

As I write this, ballots are being cast, and the country is deciding who will be its leader for the next four years. I do not know who will win, but if polls are to be believed, exactly half of you are in ecstasy, and the other half are in agony. Although I suspect the readers of this blog lean a little to one side of the spectrum. The only people who are one hundred percent happy are the cable news networks.

Like most of you, I voted. I cast my ballot and affirmed the right granted to me by our forefathers and inscribed in our constitution. I made my voice heard and ensured that my views were represented. Yes, that's right - yesterday, I proudly cast my vote for… 

Paul Marsh for State Mine Inspector!


Seriously? Do they want me to vote on the mine inspector? What do I know about big holes in the ground? Holes in the drill? Yes. Ground, no!


But I guess you don't need to be an expert. How hard can the job be? Find the hole and fill it up! Yes, I shall run for this office in four years, pledging to "Fill up all of my state holes." Wait, that doesn't sound right. How about, "Vote Lang for mine inspector so you can have a piece of mine!" Or, "I've got the grit to inspect every pit!"

Okay, I'll stick to voting for an inspector instead of being one.

Look, I am not saying we shouldn't inspect mines; I'm pretty sure that's a good idea. I might not be your go-to guy on this one. I don't know anything about mines or any other holes in the ground, so I am unlikely to make the right call. For this decision, you might be better off talking to my dog, Riley. She has considerable expertise and experience in hole digging and is a savant in this area. Don't believe me? I have a backyard full of evidence that says otherwise. Heck, Riley should run for the office of State Mine Inspector. 

But she didn't, so I voted for someone else.

Paul Marsh is the guy who got my vote. Do you know why? 


Not because of his party affiliation. Not because of his qualifications. Not because of his impressive background in all things mine-related. I didn't vote for him because of his website, campaign literature, or his incredible performance in the Mine Inspector Debates. I voted for him because he was the only one on the ballot.


 That's right, he is running unopposed. And he's not the only one. His candidacy is joined in its singularity by the offices of State Treasurer, City Constable, two State Supreme Court Justices, three appeals court judges, four school governing board members, and the County Dog Catcher, where once again, Riley would make for a more informed voter.

As a country, we like politics in the same way we like our schools: we talk a lot and walk a little. We want to expend minimal effort but achieve great results. We want to spend no money but achieve great things. We create a fuss when we are mad but don't praise when all is going well. We want ACTION as long as it coincides with our beliefs. Most of all, we want accountability for everyone else while we sit on the couch and watch re-runs of season sixty-four of Dancing with the Stars.

Through it all, you take the beating and keep on teaching. You do the job everyone thinks is important, but no one wants to do. You work longer hours, achieve greater results, and do it for less money than ever before. While everyone (myself included) talks about democracy, you teach it. While everyone else cries for better schools, you build them. While everyone hopes for a better future, you create it.

Thank you for your service to our country and our children. Thank you for teaching them in your classes, eating with them at lunch, and supervising them while they play. Thank you for caring for them morning, noon, and night. Thank you for safeguarding their minds, hearts, and bodies. Just… 

Thank you.

Yes, our mines are now safe because of Mr. Paul Walsh, but our children's minds are safe because of you.

Thank you!

Have a great week!

Scott