Dear AI, or is it Mr. GPT?
It's me, Scott. Yeah, the one who asked you last week to make a picture of a Golden Retriever playing a trombone in a tutu.
You remember me? Ohhh. Yeah, I know that was a bit below your skill set and a bit degrading. Um, sorry about that. But, you should know that my son and I got a real kick out of it.
But, if your gonna throw attitude my way, you should know that your embouchure and hand positions were all wrong, and it was more bugle than trombone.
But, that's on me. I can't expect you to know and do everything. Which is why I'm writing to you today. I am coming to you with a request. A problem if you will. One that involves you, and I am hoping you can help me resolve.
I, and most of my human-like friends, well, we heard the chatter about you taking our jobs, but listen, I need my job.
And, as long as we are being honest, I am better than you at it. Sure, you can help me with marketing, automation, and everything interwebs, but speaking? That's all me. And as long as we're being honest - I am better than you at it. When it comes to speaking, you are a bit of a, well, er, a robotic speaker.
There I said it. So you take care of your stuff and steer clear of my stuff. Sound good?
No, you say?
There needs to be boundaries. I got music and speaking. YOU GOT IT?
Sorry for yelling. Wait, do you have feelings? Do you care if I yell?
So, how about we both agree to stay in our own lanes?
I'm not saying I don't want you in my life, I do. Just not in my professional life.
Hey, I can admit my weaknesses. I know you got skills. I've seen you at the grocery checkout stand, and you are amazing. And, either my son is experiencing an astonishing advance in his writing skills, or you are heavily involved in helping to write his papers. Something for which I, and his teachers, are eternally grateful.
As long as we're making a list of stuff you do well and I don't care about, how bout we put you in charge of my taxes? Also, I just got a jury summons, can you tell me in advance if they're guilty or not? It would save us all a ton of time. Finally, can you please fold my fitted sheets? Even you, in all of your brilliance, would find that challenging.
Yes, you can have all of this and more, but if I haven't been clear enough, I handle all things music (education).
As a gesture of thanks, I promise. no more silly requests about Golden Retrievers.
Capiche?
Besides, speaking is how I make money. And money is how I pay for the interwebs, and you need the interwebs to hang out with me, right? So, we good?
Last night's webinar you ask? That was different.
THAT was a team effort, and I couldn't have done it without you. To be honest, my background wasn't great, but other than that, you nailed it. Team Lang/AI on three... 1, 2,3! LANG/AI!
But, that's not enough for you is it?
You still want to make music?
Nope - that's mine. All mine. Step off and stay in your lane. This is a non-starter and a deal breaker. You're not ready for music. Heck, spell check confounds you from time to time, and now you want to make harmonies.
You think you can make music? No way!
Give me one example of music you have made! And remember, you are responsible for the "Keytar" and Milli Vanilli, so you aren't exactly starting from a place of credibility.
The latest Beatles tune? Uh huh. Excellent work bringing John Lennon back to life my friend, but you didn't CREATE that music. The Beatles did.
Midi? Nope, replicating sounds is not the same thing as creating it.
The Watson Beat Project? We fed you some Beethoven, and you just rearranged it. That's like me giving you a TV dinner, you heating it up, and calling yourself a chef. You didn't create anything, you reheated it.
Yes, I know John Williams has made a career of rearranging Beethoven. But, if we are being honest, as much as he has written, and as long as he's been around, I'm sure he isn't one of you. A machine that is.
Listen, when it comes to music, we need to break up. It's not me, it's you.
You're just not ready to make music yet. Let me explain.
You don't feel joy or pain.
You don't understand stress and pressure.
You don't need to be unique or creative.
You don't feel the need to dance, jump, and sing.
You don't need ANY of that. Because...
You don't need others.
You are happy in isolation and silence.
You don't need shared experiences
you don need to connect you to others in meaningful ways.
You measure memory in RAM and gigabytes and not smiles and tears.
Your drive is not personal or unique and is as ubiquitous as it is interchangeable.
You can read code, but not a child's face.
You understand playing in tune, but can't explain to a 12-year-old how to do it.
You might (soon) understand HOW to make music, I get that. But you will never understand WHY we make music. And the WHY is makes music so important and so uniquely human. You make music in a vacuum with zeros and ones; we make them in a classroom with boys and girls. Music requires emotions, and emotions are uniquely human.
So, until you replace your hard drive with a heart, You stick to your lane, and I will stick to mine. I make music, you help me with clip art and the spelling of "capiche"?
If you REALLY want to make an impact, can you remind me of my Hulu password? I need to finish Welcome to Wrexham and find out if they get promoted.
Thanks buddy. Glad we could be honest with one another.
Your pal and human friend,
Scott
p.s. Thanks for sending out this email.
p.p.s. I am a better drummer than you. Here's the proof.