South of France and Our Familects!

I have a coffee mug (and hydro flask) that have the words "South of France" emboldened on them. The mug and tumbler were Father's Day gifts from my wife and children and serve as tacet but tangible reminders of the people I love.

Why South of France?

One night at dinner a couple of years ago, Leah and the boys were mocking me about some small and meaningless thing when I suddenly shouted, "SOUTH OF FRANCE, PEOPLE... SOUTH OF FRANCE!"

When asked what that meant, I retorted, "That's where I would be right now if it weren't for you knuckleheads."

Since that day, "South of France" has come to mean, "I am frustrated." My wife. She doesn't have a saying. She has a look!

It's like our own secret language, and it turns out that Langs aren't the only ones who have this secret code.

Many of us have secret languages; it is a part of the daily fabric of your life. You have it with your partner, parents, children, and yes, even your pets. Perhaps you have a unique nickname or shared reference that means something only to you and your loved ones (mine is Skittle). A memory or meme that evokes laughter from only those who have seen or experienced it. These words/moments are sometimes known as familects, and are familiar to only those with whom we spend large amounts of time in close quarters. 

And no one spends more time in close quarters than music groups. During rehearsal, on a stage, in a bus, during the week, on the weekends, during winter, summer, spring, and most especially fall. It would be impossible to spend as much time together as we do and NOT have our own jokes, memories, and yes, language. 


Familects help us feel like family. This "dialect" helps to foster friendships, establish an identity, and foster a sense of love and belonging. There's even a study that states that "When people use familect terms, they reinforce the stories, rituals, and memories that hold them together as a group. These words reaffirm their 'familyness' in a way. It re-creates their relationship." 


Some words are musical while others are not. Some are new this year, while others are from years past. Some were created by you, while others were created by your students. It is different for every group, but for every group, it is the same. You can not have "familect" without family.

Every October, I become nostalgic about teaching. This month is no different. Maybe it's the cooling of the weather or the turning of the leaves (or cactus needles). I miss the memories, the performances, and the competitions. But more than anything, I think I miss the "familect." The shared jokes, love, and laughter, based on shared experiences.

(sigh)

South of France, people... South of France.

Scott 

p.s. Thanks to everyone last week who shared thoughts and suggestions about teaching beginners. I ended up subbing the rest of the week and learned a lot. There is a blog article coming about it soon...