According to Wikipedia, Gaslighting is "a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment." Imagine your student, Billy, convinces you that YOU were crazy for thinking he hadn't practiced, when he couldn't even play the first measure.
If Billy succeeded in convincing you to doubt yourself, he gaslit you.
Why did you need to know this? Because you are about to experience the greatest gaslighting of our lifetimes.
As our country, and the world, begin to discuss re-opening, I suspect that companies, policymakers, and pundits will be spending billions of dollars trying to convince you that things are "back to normal" and that COVID-19 was nothing more than a blip in time. They will encourage you to return to life as it was before the pandemic and return to your previous habits and lifestyle.
The gaslighting will likely start with TV ads and billboards. Then it floods your social media feeds and will probably end up being the centerpiece of our November elections. The want us to drink our Coke, buy our Nike's and eat our Big Mac's like nothing has ever happened.
Why are they gaslighting us? They want you to go back to previous behaviors.
But we can't.
Companies want you to remain unchanged. They are hoping that you are unobservant and learned nothing from the past seven weeks. They want you to believe that we should be unaffected and unchanged by COVID-19 and that anyone who thinks otherwise is the anomaly.
What we are experiencing as music teachers and people has affected us on an emotional level that can not be remedied by a product or policy.
Our health is in play, our careers are in question, and our financial future is in doubt. These are things that cannot be unremembered or unfelt. These events have changed us in ways that will color our judgment and alter us in many ways moving forward.
The impact they want us to forget isn't all harmful. COVID-19 has reminded us to stay home more, share more, and care more. It reminds us that work can wait, our bicycles still work, and that dinner doesn't require a drive-thru! It has helped us to reconnect with those we love and communicate in ways we never have. It has shown us a world with cleaner skies and shorter commutes. It has introduced us to neighbors we didn't know and made us miss things we have forgotten how much we love.
Including music.
COVID-19 has forced educators (music and non-music) to examine not just HOW we teach, but WHAT we teach. It has forced us to eliminate redundant teaching, and focus on being creative, innovative, and inclusive in ways we never have.
It has reminded students of the power of the creative process and the meaning music brings to their lives. It has shown them that there are many ways to make music, but even more reasons to do it and that their ensemble is a family—one they miss.
Upon our return, much of the (education) world will try to gaslight us into thinking that we should continue to teach, think, and communicate as we always have. But, that would
We are changed. We are different, and we should act like it. Students know what they are missing, and schools are better understanding their roles, not just as facilitators of learning, but also as purveyors of experiences and feelings. be a wasted opportunity and show that we have learned nothing from this experience.
So let the rest of the educational world be swayed by the ads, commercials, and coupons, but I will not be persuaded. A pandemic and school closures DID happen. We ARE changed. And I will NOT return to "normal."
Normal would be forgetting how I have felt and what I have learned, and I simply cannot do that.
I will NOT be gaslit. Will you?
p.s. This Friday, I will host my 6th webinar entitled From Surviving to Thriving; Preparing and Planning for What's Next for Your Music Program. If you are interested in thinking about this and want to join in, click on the button below.