As a teacher, one of my favorite events of the year was our annual sectional pumpkin carving contest. If you have never done one of these, you should try it. It was a ton of fun and gave the kids a creative outlet during the last part of the season. I would award caption prizes and let my administrators serve as judges.

However, this usually meant having to explain that abstract piece of “art” that was the trombone entry, and that they were not a danger to themselves, the school, or society in general.

Don't contact me next Saturday, I will be pillaging my son’s Halloween haul for Butterfingers. Don’t judge, he’s four and I changed his diapers, so I'm taking what I want.

I may need to go to Butterfinger rehab. What’s your drug of choice?