On Wednesday, I compared the post-pandemic rebound in personal relationships to our students' relationship with their instruments - but I left out one crucial fact.

Something so important, so interesting, so intriguing that I decided it needed a separate same-week post. I know this is hardly earth-shattering for you, but I have never done this in twenty years of writing.

What was so important? Check this out.

When the CEO of Signet Jewelers (owners of Kay Jewelers, Zales, Jared, and more), Virginia Drosos, was asked why she believed the company was so bullish on 2024, she stated, "Our confidence is based on 45 proprietary milestones we track to measure a couple's journey toward engagement. Not every couple experiences all of the 45 milestones we track, but we know that once they reach 25 to 30 of these milestones, they become, statistically, significantly more likely to move on to engagement."

She continued by saying that one data point that has improved by 7% year over year is "early relationship triggers," citing "going to a sporting event or a concert together."

As its second quarter ended July 29, Drosos said Signet saw the pool of couples approaching 25 to 30 milestones increase by 700 basis points.

"We are seeing states like Texas and Florida, which reopened earlier in the pandemic, 10 points closer to pre-pandemic engagement levels compared to California and New York, which reopened later in the pandemic," she said.

Virginia Drosos, Signet CEO

MIND BLOWN! OMG!

Where do I start? I honestly don't know how to unpack all of this. There are relationship milestones? They are being tracked? How did they get to 45? What are the other 43 after concerts and sporting events? And while we're at it, how do they know I went to a Hootie and the Blowfish concert with my wife this Summer? Do they know I sang out of tune on "Only Wanna Be With You?"

This is both amazing and alarming.

We could start by comparing relationship rebound rates and music rebound rates by geography (early open vs. not early re-open), but that would be putting the story before the lead.

The idea that experiencing things together helps to form bonds and cement relationships is not exactly an earth-shattering revelation. I suspect it is as causational (helps create the bond) as it is informational (going to the event indicates there was prior interest). Either way, that is not really what I am interested in.

The two (seemingly leading) events cited by the CEO were sports and music.

Wait for it...

MARCHING BAND!

(Whew, it felt good to get that out. I have been holding it in for a couple of days now.) It combines the top two relationship forming activities into one glorious place!

This is not meant to say there aren't other indicators or creators of bonds in other musical activities - remember, music was number one, and we all make music, band, choir, and orchestra. What I think is interesting is the idea of "milestones" and how we track the development of a relationship

For years, I have believed that as a profession, we do a horrible job of explaining that music is a long-term relationship. It will take years for you to see the depth and importance of it. There are few victories after the first musical sounds in a Tik-Tok/Twitter (now X) world. What lies ahead are days, weeks, months, and years of slow and prodding growth that is almost imperceptible and invisible to most people, including the student.

Where's the excitement and passion? Where are the big moments on the grand stage? Where are the seminal events that help cement this budding (bro)mance with a boy and his clarinet?

For the most part, they don't happen for years. Yes, there are concerts and performances, but they occur a couple of times a year, and may or may not be seminal in the students' eyes. Sports gets two to three games a week. Martial arts get a fight every night, and receiving a new belt is seminal for sure. Classes give grades and tests on a daily or weekly basis. Almost everywhere you look, activities have logical progressions that mark seminal events. Now, don't get me wrong, once you hit high school, there are lots of these, but too many kids are falling by the wayside before they get to high school. And, I can't help but to wonder if it's do in part to the fact the kids do see the progress and we do a poor job of helping them find and celebrate it.

The point is that we (music education) need more milestones and mile markers along the way - a place and time to pause, reflect, and CELEBRATE - not just the WHAT we have done, but WHO we did it with. For many (if not most) of our students, the who is just as (or more) important than the what. I can't remember my music or drill from high school, but I remember the people I did it with.

Last week - as a part of a Music FUNdations email, I sent out a progress tracker for this very purpose. I didn't know I would write about this when I did it, but it seems fortuitous now. Perhaps you could revisit it, alter it, and (re)use it. Or, create your own. Help your students see the journey's highs and lows, and most importantly, celebrate this special relationship's seminal moments.

After all, seeing, experiencing, and celebrating these moments cement our personal and musical relationships.

Something to think about. What do you think. Hit the Facebook group and join in the chat.

- Scott

p.s. I unsuccessfully tried to find out what the other 43 milestones were. However, I suspect that wearing a feather duster on your head is not one of them.

p.p.s I started to compile a list of musical seminal events but decided it would be too much. It could be something so small as crossing the break, or learning to shift on a violin. It can be their 1st/50th day, or first playing exam. It is as big/small as few/many as you want it to be. But we do know that 25-30 move them towards a life-long commitment.