YOUR FICO SCORE & MY VALENTINES DAY "WHY NOT?"

Happy Valentine's Day!

I can't remember the last time my e-zine fell on Valentine's Day. But it does today!

In my small mind, it should have occurred seven years ago, but the calendar shows it was actually six, in 2018. Huh? I may need someone to explain to me how the calendar works. 

In an exercise driven in part by curiosity, but mostly by boredom, I found and re-read the e-zine I wrote on February 14th, 2018. Did I write about love and all things romantic? Did I wax on about the love of music. Did I write a love-letter to educators? Nope!

I wrote about the Iron Chef vs. The Swedish Chef. 

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Entertaining? Perhaps. But, I think we can all agree that on this day celebrating all things love and longing, writing about a Muppet is very much a swing and a miss.

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However, I am determined not to make the same mistake again.

Yes, today is Valentine's Day and a consumeristic celebration of love. The day on which we purchase chocolate, we will not consume flowers and flowers that will soon die.

Why do we do all this?

Some deep and thorough research (a quick Google search) places the origins of Valentine's Day in Rome, somewhere in the 4th century, during which they held an annual lottery where young men would draw a young woman's name from a box. The couple would be assigned to each other for the entire year. This is decidedly un-woke and inappropriate, but it does explain that the origins of reality T.V., in fact, predate T.V. itself. #marriedatfirstsight

Today, as a part of this international holiday, a new dating app for singles is being launched - one that is less focused on finding Pams for Jims to meet for margaritas — but one for Pam and Jims who pay the bill off in full and on time.

So this morning, SCORE, a limited-time dating app for people with credit scores of 675 or above was launched. (only during the proofing of this newsletter did I catch the double entendre of the name)

Yep, SCORE users are likely less wanting your phone digits and more interested in your FICO digits.

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By the way, my FICO score is an 801 - Swipe right on that people!

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Honestly, the concept of dating based on financial health doesn't really seem that strange to me. After all, money is the number one cause of divorce (I'm pretty sure IKEA furniture instructions are number 2), and how you deal with it speaks to a part of your values and who you are. 

Truthfully, I have given the concept of dating apps a considerable amount of time and thought recently and like the idea.

Why, you ask? (and this is where it gets weird.)

Because for years, I have secretly harbored the desire to launch a dating app. Well, not so secret anymore.

No, really.

Similar to SCORE, my app is based on shared beliefs, values, and experiences. One that values commitment, dedication, and selflessness. So today, on this Pagan day of love, I announce...

MARCH.COM - A dating site for those who wreek of sunscreen and can rock a sock-tan.

I'm not kidding. I have even gone so far as to research software platforms (you can buy them in a box), marketing techniques, and launch strategies. By the way, the domain is for sale for teeny weeny price of $1,750,000. But marchloves.com can be scooped up for the tidy sum of twelve bucks! Don't think I'm not tempted.

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Remember the characteristics I mentioned above: commitment, dedication, and selflessness? Those are the qualities you would want in a partner and are ones we teach in music. Shared experiences and shared passions lead to a shared life. And I'm not just talking the talk, I am walking the walk.

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 Think about it? 

• You would have a lot to talk about.

• Your profile pic could be of you in your band uniform.

• You could search for (or eliminate) people by instrument (Don't seek a long-term relationship with a drummer).

• You could compare scores from competitions you were both at.

• You can discuss and debate favorite composers.

• You could even pick a person based (or not) on pitch!

Yes, you could do all of that and more AT MARCH.COM!
But most important, you could trust that they understood what it takes to make a commitment, think of others, and work hard.  What more could you want from a life partner?

My wife was a teacher and guidance counselor for over twenty years. We taught on the same campus for four of those years. She never was involved in music as a student, but as an adult recognizes the value of music. During her time in the classroom, she often told her students, "Date the athlete, but marry the band kid!" 

AND SHE DID!

So, on this day of love, what do you say we dump the F.I.C.O. score and use a musical score to SCORE our life partner? After all...

Why not?

Happy Valentine's Day to my sweetheart of twenty-two years. I got you a blog - you lucky girl.

Your weird hubby, 

Scott

© SCOTT LANG LEADERSHIP 2024 - all rights reserved

COACH SCOTT AND MY PERSPECTIVE AGE

As many of you know, I coach my sons in sports. After last week's game, one of the other player's parents sent me some video highlights and pictures of the kids. As I sifted through them, I was stunned. STUNNED, I say! To be clear, I wasn't amazed by the athletic prowess of the kids, although it was impressive. I was not shocked by the impeccable game planning and strategic play calling, although I was definitely in the zone. What surprised me, you ask? 

I was taken aback by a white-haired older man being among the sea of forty-something parents.

Was he someone's grandparent? Perhaps an older uncle or family friend? He was clearly the odd man out and the unicorn of the group. 

Oh yeah, he was ME!

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When did I become old? Or at least old looking?

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Yes, I know my age; it's printed on my driver's license. Of course, I know what I look like. Heck, my wife and kids heckle me to use my "senior discount" wherever we go. 

So, yes, I know I am 55, but I do not see myself as 55.

Again, when did I become old?

In an article in Atlantic Monthly entitled The Puzzling Gap Between How Old You Are and How Old You Think You Are, author Jennifer Senior explains why I am not alone in this phenomenon. In fact, it is pretty common. 

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This phenomenon is called Subjective Age, and it's more common than you might think. Just wait. No really, just wait and you will experience it.

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She states, "When most people look in the mirror, they are not so much unhappy with his appearance as startled by it—as if there's been some sort of error. You cognitively know your age, but can't actually comprehend it." 

Subjective age refers to how young or old individuals experience themselves in relation to health, behavioral, cognitive, and biological processes that influence frailty.

That settles it; I'm 42. Not just as a person, but as a teacher. I am mid-way through my career and life.

I must be.

I have so much to do and even more to learn. I still can't teach improv, I never mastered facilitating woodwind articulation, and I have about ten masterworks I have yet to conduct. I can't possibly have 32 years behind me. I am still a work in progress, which is far from complete.

But, complete or not, the picture does not lie.

Do you wonder about that too?

When did you cross the line between beginning teacher and an experienced vet? When did you step away from being a mentee to becoming a mentor? When did you stop being a team member to become a team leader? Or, when did you decide to go from constituent to board member?

These transitions are rarely seminal moments with the accompanying fanfare, and there is typically never a coronation or celebratory event. There are no grand promotions, new business cards, or write-ups on LinkedIn, which is one of the complex parts of being a teacher. So they often go unnoticed, not just by others, but by ourselves.

That doesn't make them any less meaningful or important. Nor are these moments and accomplishments something to minimize, trivialize, or ignore. They are significant moments that are to be cherished and honored.

While we accomplish and achieve great things, we see these feats as obligatory, part of the job, and all in a day's work.

Subjective age disorder strikes again, separating the truth of what we did from how we feel concerning our age.

Yes, in the picture and in life, I am the unicorn. The only grey-haired person on the sideline. However, I am the one who has the energy, drive, and desire to coach. While my time in a classroom may be done, my time working with kids is not, and my best work is still ahead of me.

I know this because I am 42. I am sure of it, and you can't convince me otherwise.

How old are you?

Have a great week. 

Scott

HANDELING THE TRUTH* OF YOUR UNFINISHED SYMPHONY!

In March of 1827, wracked with abdominal pain and other maladies, Ludwig Van Beethoven lay dying in his bed. Grieving friends, acquaintances, and long-time admirers came to his bedside for what appeared to be one final visit. As a young composer acolyte finished saying goodbye, he asked a seemingly innocuous request, could he have a lock of Beethoven's hair for remembrance? 

Unaware of the impact of the gesture, Beethoven agreed to the request. Beethoven passed away the next day, at the relatively young age of 56.

For the next three days, as word spread of his demise, a parade of mourners visited his corpse, paid their respects, and clipped a small lock of Ludwig's voluminous hair until not a single strand remained. (Side note: removing my hair would take just a few minutes.)

Fast forward nearly two hundred years, and those strands of hair help tell Beethoven's true story and help finish the unfinished Symphony of his life.

A recent DNA analysis of strands of Ludwig's hair has upended long-held beliefs about his health, debilitating ailments, and cause of death. It also raises new questions about his origins and unknown father while simultaneously answering questions about any offspring and lineage.

For instance, we now know that Beethoven did not have lead poisoning as was previously suspected. He was also not a person of color as some had proposed. And a Flemish Family with the same surname who proudly boasted they were part of his lineage, learned that they were not. Finally, his potential cause of death, liver cirrhosis, was likely not a result of alcohol abuse, but a rare genetic disorder.

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Beethoven's genius is well documented, as are the mysteries of his life. What led to his hearing loss? Who was his immortal beloved? Who was his father? What caused his death? There are so many questions and so few answers about his life and work. 

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What is lost among his prodigious talent and unanswered questions are his life's triumphs and tribulations. A holistic look at his life shows the value of a life filled with passion, purpose, and determination.

This is where Beethoven's true genius soars like a beautiful melody above an abrasive, turbulent, rhythmic, and harmonic line.

This is where you and Ludwig share some common ground.

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This feeling of inadequacy fueled his drive, passion, and willingness to work through, over, and around, any obstacles thrown in his path, including deafness.

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The early 1800s were very different from our modern day. Not worse, just different. Composing music is not the same thing as teaching it, but the struggles Beethoven and you share have common ground. Like many of you, Ludwig was troubled by his imperfection, filled with self-loathing and doubt. 

He never felt like he had achieved his magnum opus or grand accomplishment. In other words, despite being among the greatest composers of all time - he never felt as if he had reached his full potential.

Sound familiar?

Beethoven's life was hard. I mean, really hard. Beethoven had no father, no support system, no companion, and was seriously sick for most of his life. And then... The world's most preeminent composer went deaf! That's hard. So hard, that when he learned of his impending hearing loss, he considered taking his own life. In an unsent suicide letter to his brothers, he wrote:

"It seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce, and so I endured this wretched existence… Difficult is beautiful and good; patience it is that I must now choose for my guide."

Reread it out loud. 

"Difficult is beautiful; let patience be my guide."

I don't know about you - but that resonates with me more than his Ninth Symphony.

As a teacher and a person, I understand and embrace the first part. Where I continue to fail is letting patience be my guide—patience with myself, my students, and my life. Patience requires trust, and faith that you are a willing, deserving, and worthy part of this profession and this life.

Ludwig may no longer be composing, but he teaches us to embrace the challenge and patiently wait for the results. Like Beethoven, this likely means that the full measure of your results may not be realized until you have left this profession or this planet.

Be like Beethoven, be patient. 

Beethoven's work as a composer continues two hundred years after his passing. With only fragmented sketches remaining, artificial intelligence that studied his compositional style realized his 10th and "Unfinished Symphony." You can hear it here. 

As a teacher, he shows us that everyone struggles and that grit, determination, and passion will prevail over pain.

Like Ludwig, one day, you will no longer be conducting, but your "Unfinished Symphony" will continue in the lives of your students and their children. Looking Bach, the true lessons of Ludwig and your life are Haydn in plain sight.* 

"Difficult is beautiful; let patience be your guide."

Something to remember on this, and every other morning.

Have a great week, my friends. 

Scott 

*These puns came from Dave Pell - an online curator I avidly follow; is the self-proclaimed Managing Editor of the Internet, and King of Puns.

A Major Champ and Tough Transitions

(Editor's note: Yes, this is the second week in a row he has written about dogs. I warned him about alienating fans of felines, but he brushed it aside, saying it was the snake lovers that scared him.)

This past week, President Biden's younger dog, Major, had another "incident." Unlike my house, where an "incident" means someone is grabbing the Spot Shot and opening the windows, Major's incident was of a different variety.

He bit someone.

Well, not so much bit, more of a nip, as I understand it. I mean, there was no growling or gnashing of teeth. Major just made a quick little jab that didn't even break the victim's skin (an unwitting Secret Service Agent).

Unfortunately, this is not the first time Major has nipped at someone. Several weeks ago, Major snapped at a White House employee and handler in a similar and more publicized incident. Afterward, they sent him to off-site training for remediation.

For nipping?

Perhaps things would be different for Major if he were a puppy or a Miniature Schnauzer. People might look upon the situation differently if he were a fluffy Golden Retriever or lumbering Bassett Hound. But he is not. Major, and Champ, are full-fledged German Shepards and look every bit the part.

After the most recent incident, President Biden publicly defended Major, stating, "He is a sweet dog who comes from a tough background." 

And despite his ability to pardon, President Joe Biden is sending Major back to the minors for remediation. Really? My first thought is that we should send the agent to remediation school.

Think about the situation from a normal, non–Presidential perspective.

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Major is an adult German Shepard, bred to defend and protect. He was in a new and unfamiliar environment, with someone he did not know, with a gun, standing close to his master.

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Yes, I am disappointed in Major. Disappointed he didn't take the agent's right arm off!

Isn't that what you would want and expect your dog to do in similar circumstances? Would you send him to obedience school?! That makes no sense to me and would be a waste of money, in my opinion. It seems to me law enforcement pays gobs of money to train German Shepards to do EXACTLY that. Heck, the way I see it, Major already graduated at the top of his class and should have his name changed to Lassie! (Wait, was Lassie a boy?)

Given the breed, circumstances, and the fact that the Bidens rescued Major from a shelter after enduring prolonged trauma, we should not have been surprised or shocked by this; we should have expected and trained staff for this. You don't punish the dog for behaving like a dog. He was doing what he was born to do.

Not sure where I am going with this? Wait for it...

As students return to our classrooms, it's important to remember that they, too, have endured trauma and are predisposed to behave in a self-protective way. A global pandemic changed their world for an entire year. Like Major, your students are in unfamiliar places, dealing with new and different situations, and are interacting with people in very non-traditional ways.

Students will be on edge. Students will be nervous. Students will occasionally snap at you or other people. Given the circumstances, this is not something to be surprised and angered by; we should expect and train for this. The outbursts, mistakes, and poor choices are not to be excused but should not surprise us. These young people have been through trauma that changed them. The world they returned to is not the world they left. As they re-enter, we need to remember that it's not our (emotional) safety we should be concerned with; it's theirs. So try to be patient. Try to be forgiving. Try to remember that they are humans who have been through something considerable, are in a new world, and will act accordingly.

Major? The way I see it, he should take a victory lap down Pennsylvania Avenue to the halls of Congress. There are a few Senators I would like him to take a nip at!

Have a great week! 

Scott